Christ the King
I have struggled for many years with how one discerns God's will. It has always seemed to me that the extreme of God micromanaging the universe is as wrongheaded as thinking God never intervenes. Recently, as I have considered my life and the things that have happened in my life, I have considered occurrences that resulted because of actions I have taken and then those that have happened despite what I have wanted. It is too easy to simply think, well, everything that ended up happening must have been God's will for me. God, allowed it to happen.
But God allows lots of things to happen that are not God's will. Allowing something to happen is not the same thing as willing it, wanting it. For instance, I may allow my adult child to go bankrupt or go to prison when I have the means to prevent this. I am certainly not willing that my child experience this. I would much rather that my child had avoided the actions that have led to what is now going to happen, but I am allowing something to happen that I could prevent because my intervention will be less healthy for my child in the long run.
Regarding God allowing really bad things to happen without intervention, unless God is going to micromanage the universe God has to allow evil to exist. God controlling everything would mean there is no human freedom. Without the freedom to hate, the freedom to love does not exist. We are, as B.F. Skinner suggested, nothing more than the result of our genetic makeup, the environment in which we have existed, and the positive and negative reinforcements of our predetermined behavior. My point here is that if God allows all sorts of things to happen that God does not directly will, then my life is not necessarily completely the result of God's will, but a combination of God's will and the circumstances that have been in opposition to that.
Where I am going with this is that I have come to realize that it was God's will for me to be a monk and a Carthusian. I won't get into all the specifics and I will also tell you that God's will changes to adapt to new circumstances and God knows about this in advance. So, I am not a monk or even a practicing priest, but I believe I have done some good things with my life that, I hope, have been in conformity with God's will as it has adapted to changed circumstances.
Where I go from here is what really matters. I can't rewrite the past, and living with regrets is beneficial to no one. What is so very interesting is that as I enter the final chapter of my life I see an opportunity to recapture God's original intention for me. A conventional monastic existence is no longer possible, but an unconventional one certainly is and is, actually, falling into place. I have recently decided to retire from my full time job. When that happens, I will be able to establish a monastic routine and live a quasi-eremitical existence. The most unconventional part will be living with my husband, but I have already built a chapel in our basement for the celebration of the Liturgy, have a fully outfitted workshop (also in the basement), and I have plans to renovate a second floor room as a place of reflection and study. These are the essential elements of the monastic/eremitical life: liturgy, study and manual work. Structure, both in schedule and physical arrangements, are also critically important. I began work on defining documents to spell out this life some time ago. While being outside any particular observance has the advantage of "customization," I also know that I must follow rules. The alternative is to wallow in self indulgence.
May God be praised at all times and in all things!